A few days ago, while watching Jessica Soho’s interview with Kuya Kim about the passing of their daughter, I couldn’t hold back my tears. If I had the chance, I would have hugged Kuya Kim tightly, no words, just silence and compassion. But what truly broke me was seeing a clip of his wife, Fely, delivering her eulogy for their daughter, Emman. I was in the kitchen preparing dinner when I watched it, and I found myself in tears. Her calm composure, her grace amidst unimaginable pain, it spoke volumes of the woman she is. Poised, soft-spoken, strong, yet heartbreakingly human. Every mother who saw that felt the ache, the fear, the admiration.
As a mom, I, too, live with fears about raising teenagers in today’s world. It often feels like a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” era. No matter how hard we try to raise our children with love, faith, and values, the world outside our homes has changed so much. Judgment is now so quick, and cruelty online has become almost normal.
What truly angers me is the bashing, the harsh comments thrown at Kuya Kim and his family, blaming them as if they could have simply prevented such tragedy. It’s so unfair how people can be so quick to judge, to comment on another’s grief without knowing what’s behind closed doors. No parent would ever wish to be in their place. And yet, in their pain, I saw strength, inspiration, the kind of love that reminds us that Emman was truly blessed to have them as her family.
Being a parent today is harder than ever. Technology has replaced too many moments that used to be filled with laughter, stories, and connection. I’m not saying my parenting is better than anyone else’s… every family has its own values but I truly believe parents should always be the final voice, when it comes to guidance, values, and discipline when raising their children during their crucial ages.
When my kids were in grade school, our home had simple but firm rules: no gadgets from Monday to Thursday, limited screen time on Fridays (only after dinner from 6 to 9 PM), and free play on Saturdays only after house chores, “magsawa sila maglaro!”, Sundays were reserved for a few hours of play after their 2600 basketball games at Easter College. It was never about control, it was about teaching discipline, balance, and the beauty of real interaction. Our days were filled with Lego towers, building blocks, camping in Camp John Hay, biking, and laughter instead of endless scrolling.
My husband and I made sure they explored life beyond screens, from Taekwondo and piano lessons to youth camps, basketball games, and countless family beach trips. Those moments weren’t just activities; they were lessons in resilience, teamwork, and PRESENSE. And then I heard Kuya Kim say, “Kung maibabalik ko lang ang panahon, I should have spent more time with my kids.” Grabe, mega cry cry na naman ako hearing that! It really hits you…we can’t turn back time. So while we still can, let’s not waste even a single minute. Let’s make every moment with our kids count, no what ifs (because what ifs cut deep).
Looking back, I truly believe those little house rules and the big love behind them helped shape them into the kind, grounded, and disciplined young men they are today. Sana lang maging consistent sila, that’s my prayer every single day.
At work, I often see young children glued to their tablets and phones, even while eating out with their families. It breaks my heart. Conversations are replaced by screens. Smiles are replaced by scrolling. And too often, this detachment leads to deeper emotional struggles, pain, anxiety, and depression brought about by a world that constantly demands validation through likes and followers.
I remember one night, my eldest, feeling the weight of school pressure and teenage struggles, quietly left the house and I went crazy when I found out that he wasn’t in his room. He just wanted to breathe. When he came back, I was nagging at him because I was too worried; he looked at me and broke down and cried, and I did, too. I hugged him tightly with a little nagging Filipino mom nga kasi guys, and I realized that parenting isn’t about being perfect, it’s about being present. It’s about listening, even to what isn’t said. That day, taught me to be a more understanding mother. That preparing meals for them isn’t enough. Parenting needs a deeper sense of discernment kasi madami pa din tayong hindi alam, huwag din tayong know-it-all minsan.
Going back to Emman’s story, her illness and pain were deeply rooted in unresolved trauma, a heavy burden no young soul should carry. Despite diagnosis and therapy, despite love, despite every resource her family could give, she still chose to end her pain. And yet, instead of offering prayers and compassion, people chose to throw hate, blame, and cruel words.
No parent should ever have to bury their child. That isn’t the natural order. There are simply no words for that kind of pain.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all this, it’s that we live in a world that needs more kindness and less judgment. There are lessons in this heartbreak, painful yet necessary reminders for all of us, especially parents.
- The ghost of trauma. No person deserves to be mistreated, especially by those meant to protect and love them. The wounds we don’t see are often the ones that destroy us inside.
- Simply BE KIND. Kindness can save lives. A kind word, a gentle gesture, a patient heart, these can change the course of someone’s day, maybe even their life.
- Don’t be too quick to judge. What you see online is never the whole story. Behind every smiling photo may be a storm you’ll never understand. So before you speak, choose empathy over opinion.
- Listen. Sometimes, what the world needs is not another voice but silence that listens with the heart.
- Communicate. In a time when technology replaces touch, make an effort to bring your family back to the table. “Kahit simple lang ipagluto mo sila momshie”. Look into each other’s eyes over Sunday breakfast or dinner. Talk, laugh, share stories and make it a rule: no phones allowed. (Okay, maybe except for mom to take a photo of the food she lovingly prepared for Facebook and Instagram…just kidding.)
At the end of the day, parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence, compassion, and connection. It’s about raising children who value real conversations more than comments, kindness more than clout, and family more than followers.
Let’s keep learning, keep trying, and keep parenting with heart because in this ever-changing world, it’s still our values that truly matter.
